The Candid Me

WorkWork Work Work!

2008-11-16T01:57:00.000-08:00

I have recently joined the punch card crew. My typical schedule for the day is as follows:

7.30 am: Wake up and get ready for work
7.45 am: Drive to work
7.53 am: Reach hospital and park car
7.58 am: Punch card
8.00 am: Enter Farmasi Satelite
8-10 am: Charting, filling, blaa blaa blaa
10.00am: Break
10.30am: Look busy
12.00pm: Clean up
1.00 pm: Break for lunch
2.00 pm: Toilet break, look around for things to do
3.00 pm: Gossip, look busy again
4.00 pm: Rush ward attendants to collect medications
4.30 pm: Chase patients to OPD
5.00 pm: PANG KANG!!! (punch out)

That is the life of this government servant....
We work work work work work work work work 8 hours everyday.
Plus work work work work work work work work so we can play play play
(A caption from broadway parodies lagilah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SD7EnQ1k2sA)

Sigh....

2008-11-07T21:42:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like screaming! Suddenly I just feel so trapped, trapped under water and I can't breathe. I feel so limited in every way. I don't know where this irritation is coming from but I feel like it is eating me up inside. I need to free myself from myself!!! Sigh..the hardest obstacle in one's life I guess is to get over their personal fears and woes.

I feel irked by the fact that I should not be complaining because I am already so lucky. I have a good family, good friends, good job and all the benefits thrown at me. So why do I still sigh? It's not that I am not aware of how lucky I am because I do know I am...Maybe I am just a drama queen...a poor little rich girl but I believe that monetary pleasures can't really fulfill oneself.

Maybe the stress of standing on my own is getting to me. Maybe I am afraid to face this world alone and losing him makes the situation seem more grave than it really is. I wish life were simpler with no EPF accounts, no punch cards, no car loans, insurance, income tax and no politcs!! Wouldn't it be better to go back to the times where children ran barefoot along paddy fields and bathed naked in the river? Wasn't it more fulfilling when we had the time to appreciate the sunrise and sunsets? Wouldn't it be easier if parents did not have to worry of children getting kidnapped, robbed, raped or run down by cars that they need you to check in with them every few hours? Wouldn't it be more fun if families spent more times with each other? Wouldn't it be better if we could all just take a step back and appreciate the little things in life rather than worry about this and that...the only obstacle to face then would be the wind.

I wanna lay down on the beach...let my hair down..take off my shoes and roll up my pants. I wanna feel the sand and water between my toes. And I wish someone would hold my hand and sit by my side as we enjoy the sunset...I wanna live!

Tribute to Jackie..my dog, my brother, my love, my baby..

2008-10-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

27th October. Today was just like any other day. I wanted to sleep in but mom woke me up to make ke nui ko for dad. I walked down the stairs reluctantly and started on my cake. Suddenly I heard my mom saying,"Eh..die already!". I thought to myself one of the stupid goldfish must have died. Never did it occur to me that it would be Jackie..

This is Jackie.

He loves to wag his tail in circles rather than side to side. When he sees us come home, He would get really excited and jump on us the moment we open the car door. He is also a greedy little monster. Whenever he smells food his nose starts sniffing in that "I want some, gimme some" kinda way. He loves to chase towels and get into a tug-of-war with us if we tried to snatch the towel back. He loved to sleep inside while we watch tv and refuses to go out at night. He bangs the door when we lock him out to early. We would have to drag him out or bluff him with a biscuit. He loved to lick my legs after I put on my lotion. He would follow me everywhere around the house. He's been in the family for two years and mom and dad treat him like a little boy.

I love his big round puppy dog eyes. Eyes I can't look away from. I love his curious nose which always sniffed around. I love his fluffy doggy ears. I love how he looks so smart with his mouth close and how silly he looks with his tongue sticking out. I love his paws which he uses to try to cover his face in hopes that we would not see him when it was time to be locked out. I love his beautiful peacock-like tail which swishes side to side when he walks. I love his butt-swaying little strut. I love that dog from head to tail. That silly mutt took a piece of my heart and has now runaway with it and never coming back.

After I heard my parents pay the trash man to take him away, I grabbed my car keys and headed out to the pharmacy. I broke down once when Wail replied my message. I stayed till 4pm dreading to go home because I knew he would not be there to greet me anymore. As I walked through the gates I took a deep breath. this is how it's going to be from now on. No more greetings from that ball of fluff. No more excited barks of joy. No more desperate slobbers from a lovable pup. No more Jackie...

PS. I miss him dearly. I want him back. I'm sorry Jackie that I did not say hi to you this morning. I'm sorry I was busy at the pharmacy the past two weeks..I'm sorry..I'm sorry..please come back to me. I promise I'll hug you every morning, kiss you every night and cherish every moment if you'd just come back..I love you.

Better in time

2008-10-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

This is a really beautiful song that I dedicate to all the broken hearted. Do listen to it on my sidebar. It'll all get better in time...

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock
Who's there no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
If you didn't notice you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the past
I believe it
And I know that time will heal it
If you didn't notice boy you meant everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'm gon' be ok

[Chorus:]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will

[Chorus: x2]
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

Getting over a LOVED one

2008-10-19T21:17:00.000-07:00

Breakups are even more common than water nowadays. For every baby born a day, I bet there is one breakup too. So how do people cope with break ups? How do you get over someone you love?

Some people cry, lose their appetite and sleep, delete or throw away everything that reminds you of that person, resort to self distructive behaviour..emotional break downs etc. I've done all the above. I lost my love for food, tear everytime I watch a sad movie, deleted him from my msn, sleep 4-6 hrs a day, and bug my darling god bro everytime I turn on the waterworks..so what is next?

According to enotalone.com, there are 3 stages of grief. The first is denial or refusal to accept the truth that the relationship is over. The second is realising, feeling all the emotions that entail and finally letting go or attempting to let go. Stage 3 is when you finally stop thinking so much and begin to start having fun again thought you may have some bouts of sadness once in awhile. I suppose I am somewhere between stage 2 and 3. I realise it's over and I want so badly to let it go but it was my longest and sweetest relationship that I really wish I did not have to let go. The good times I had with him were paradise. Despite the odds against us I loved him dearly as a friend and a partner. I know if I don't try to let him go, I may lose him forever..even as a friend and I never want that to happen. He insists that he will never forget me or stop being my friend but it's not enough. Promises can be broken. He promised once before that he would always try to make the world fair for me but in the end he could not keep that promise. It was not fair that he never gave me a chance. It is not fair that he did not discuss our problems with me but did so with someone else. The world is never fair...so who can promise me that I won't lose him? Sometimes I feel angry at him for not giving me a chance, sometimes I hate him for doing this to me, sometimes I miss him like crazy, sometimes I fear talking or seeing him...(according to the web site, it's apparently NORMAL!)

I have been looking up old friends and making new. I am even working at a pharmacy and my boss is really nice. I am happier now than I was 2 weeks ago. I am determined to let him go. I will even put on a good face tonight when I meet him for the first time since our horrible horrible so -called "break up". I know I will never be ok with him loving someone else especially her because she is part of the reason he stopped loving me. I don't blame her for anything but being human, I can't help feeling a little pain. What killed me the most was he liked another girl while he was with me. The person I fell in love with would never have betrayed me and I feared that he had changed into a two-timing bastard. Now I see that he really likes her and he is loyal to her so in a weird way, I feel glad. Glad that I did not give my heart to another jerk. Glad that this one was worth my 3 years and although we did not work out, I'm glad that I had a chance to love him before and a chance to feel his love and I thank him for that. I know I will still cry when noone is looking and I know my heart will still ache when I think of us. It'll always be painful to watch the one I love walking away from me. But there is nothing I can do except put on a smile and walk the other way. So I'll just fake it till I make it..

I think you can never really get over the pain of losing someone you love but you learn deal with it and accept the pain. Final step...letting go.

My dream house

2008-10-11T03:19:00.000-07:00

Last week my father took me to look at some apartments. You would not believe how much it costs now to own an apartment! 2million and above! My goodness, when will I ever own such a beautiful home? Anyway I though I'd just share with the world what my dream home would look like.

LIVING ROOM

I'd like a spacious living room with a huge sofa and a huge flat screen TV! I love carpets too and lots of fluffy pillows (I love to sit on the floor and watch movies). Oh..I must have lot's of useless decorative items too but I am quite fussy as to what type of decorative items. I like water features, artsy metal stuff and pretty stones!

BATHROOMS

Ok let's move on to the bathrooms. I like simple classy bathrooms and glass sinks. I once visited a house in Bali which had a zen-style open concept bathroom. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you bathe in the open air with nature's eyes watching you. I found it exhilarating and refreshing! There was enough exposure to the elements to let you feel in touch with nature and yet it had enough privacy for you to feel safe. I could not find any pictures that can truly depict it but here are close examples.

BEDROOM

Now it's to the bedrooms. This is the most important room in the house cos lots can happen there;)..just kidding. Anyway we spend most of our time in the bedroom compared to other parts of the house so it must definitely be comfortable. I like yelow lighting in my bedroom for a romantic and cosy feel. I like huge pillows on the bed with plain covers. I also like wooden flooring with maybe a carpet or two around the room. If it is big enough, I would love a small reading area with a little sofa on which I can occasionally cuddle up with my hubby(if I can even find one).

KITCHEN

The heart of the house. The bedroom may be the most important room in the house but the kitchen is definitely my favourite. I love to cook and bake so a great kitchen is a must. The kitchen must be spacious with alot of breathing room. I used to like classic English kitchens but now, I have come to like simple zen-style kitchens. Dark wooden cabinets with metal handles and marble counter tops. My kitchen must have an island in the middle and if possible a bar for people to sit or eat. I'd also prefer it if the pots and pans can be hung over the island. There must also be a big enough oven! Below (left) is the almost perfect kitchen and (right) other examples of beautiful kitchens.

And there you go ladies and gentlemen..that's my dream house! Hopefully dreams come true!

Trip down memory lane

2008-10-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

It was a night filled with memories and nostalgia as the three of us chatted away, recalling the old, catching up with the new. Eileen, Yuin-Y and I had so much to talk about! It was just us, 3 single gals out in town, having a good time. I have not felt so at home in a long time. First we ate at Mizi bistro which was pretty good by the way (My chicken breasts were stuffed with apples..amazing isn't it?). Then, we headed down to Old town cafe for another round of drinks. We talked about school and all the silly games we used to play. It is amazing how we grew up...

Standard 1: carebears, achilok
Standard 2 & 3: iceman, pepsi cola
Standard 4: getah...dance mania
Standard 5: batu seremban
Standard 6: boybands

Those were the phases we went through. One year we were enemies and another we were friends. It was hard to keep track who was mad at who and when. But in the end, after all these years, it still circles back to one group of friends. I know I have been out of touch with this group of friends and I am truly sorry for not making more of an effort to stay in touch. Now that I am most likely settled in Penang, I hope to reunite with this bunch of amazing girls..ooops now women. We girls of 5 science will always be friends no matter how far we go or how long we've been gone. It's great to be back!

Silly me, brought a camera and forget to take pics until I reach my front door. So this is just an ugly pic of us to commemorate this outing. Hehe..

STUPID posting!

2008-10-07T08:15:00.000-07:00

Dial dial dial...user busy, retry?
Dial dial dial...user busy, retry?
Dial dial dial...user busy, retry?
Dial dial dial...user busy, retry?

Arghhh!!!!

DIAL DIAL DIAL....ring ring ring..ring ring...ring ring..ring ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHH!!!!

DIAL DIAL DIAL....ring ring ring..ring ring...ring ring..ring ring..hello??

This was how it went for 2 days! Ladies and gentlemen behold our public service system! Two weeks ago I tried calling the moment my friend told me the posting was out. I called all day but the line was busy. I gave up at 5pm knowing not a soul would be in the office by then. The next day I called, they told me to call back in a week, after Raya. So, the Monday after Raya weekend I geared myself up to call. What do you know, the line was busy again all day and when it was not, no one picked up!!! So today, I call again, patiently waiting for an answer and this is the answer I got, "Er sorry the posting is not out yet, please call back in 2 weeks!! Amazing how efficient government run bodies are isn't it?

Sigh, looks like I will only be able to start work in November...:(

I GIVE UP!!!

2008-10-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

I give up..I surrender. Everytime we try, we go back to to square one, talking about our relationship. I think if we go on contacting each other before I am truly over him, it will always go back to this and I am the only one who will be hurt AGAIN. He has clearly moved on. I logged on his msn to delete my contact from his list and I saw..he has a category for her alone. I am just under girlfriends. No wonder he never messages me or see me when I am online. There are 30 others in that category. I have lost all hope. He has managed to make me feel like the most insignificant and stupid person in his life. I hate him for that!!

Today I decide to let it go. I am going to move on and stand on my feet again. I am stronger than he thinks I am. I know what he likes about that girl..she reminds me abit of the way I used to be, matured, living a life full of excitement and activities, with admiration for him and a bubbly personality. I was once that girl. I have really lost myself. Now I only see a sad girl who tries too hard to please a man who does not even love her anymore. Yes, I'll always be his first love and it was love at first sight but I guess it was never meat to be ..at least for now. I don't know if we will get back together in the future but Wai Loon is right. Deal with the future in the future..not now. Now is the time to deal with the present and at present, my life is the problem. My only regret is that I have lost not only lost my boyfriend but my best friend. He is the one I loved to share my life experiences with but now..that is just not possible. He is not even interested in my life anymore.

I can't wait to get to work, to learn new things, to share new experiences. I am so grateful for WaiL. He's been there for me every step of the way. I wish we both can find happiness one day. I plan to travel more and be more adventurous. I have not done a roadtip before. I plan to do one soon before my sister leaves for university. We'll drive around Malaysia, get lost, enjoy each other's company and hopefully build a stronger bond. God, I know I can do this. Please help me..I need you right now more than ever.

Photoshop frenzzy!

2008-10-05T01:41:00.001-07:00

I have just discovered the miracles of photoshop! Okay maybe I am going abit ahead of myself by saying that..in truth I have only just discovered how to use photoshop. Here is an example of my first attempt at retouching my pic. My father says it is crappy but I think I did a pretty good job for a beginner. Look!

BEFORE

AFTER

Ok so maybe it is not a master piece but that's about all I know how to do for now. Yeah the face and the neck colour don't match hence the swirly thing to hide the obvious colour difference. Hehe and I guess there is too much makeup. It'll get better, you'll see! Now if only I knew how to make myself look thinner..hehehe. Stay tuned for more of Joyce's photoshop madness!

When the rain falls

2008-09-29T21:36:00.000-07:00

It's been raining the past few days. For some of us the rain is like a symbol of comfort, a time for hot chocolate in front of a warm fire and in the arms of a loved one. For others it is a symbol of sorrow like the tears in our eyes..like the heavens are crying with us but there is yet another thing rain symbolizes...it is HOPE. Here are the lyrics to a very touching song about the rain. I dedicate this song to all my friends who are going through more pain than the eye can see. It's ok to cry for tears are like the rain "rying to grow something out of all the pain". Please don't lose hope...please don't lose faith..and most importantly please don't lose your heart...

When the rain falls by the zettabytes (Pixel perfect soundtrack)

I don’t understand
This should be so easy
To just reach my hand
And know the world is free
But nothing’s, as it seems
I can tell you freely
Touching’s not the only way to feel

When the rain falls
It’s like heaven’s crying
When the name’s all
The difference that there is
Cause tears are
The same when they are trying to grow something good
Out of all the pain
There’s no difference between the teardrops and the rain.

I know you proudly say
That I’m just talking crazy
To think of life that way
Means that I’m confused
There’s happy and there’s sad
But maybe yes just maybe
The sadness can make the happiness more true

When the rain falls
It’s like heaven’s crying
When the name’s all
The difference that there is
Cause tears are
The same when they are trying to grow something good
Out of all the pain
There’s no difference between the teardrops and the rain.

Because I know the bones were necessary
I don’t let it bother me at all

When the rain falls
It’s like heaven’s crying
When the name’s all
The difference that there is
Cause tears are
The same when they are trying to grow something good
Out of all the pain
There’s no difference between the teardrops and the rain.

Here's a youtube link to hear the song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YOvXD7z1iI

Cry...no more

2008-09-28T02:02:00.000-07:00

Everyone has been hurt by a loved one before, but when is it that you draw the line and say that is enough? The first time he broke up with me over religion I cried for 2 days and was miserable for a week. The second time the same thing happened, I cried for a week and was miserable for months. This time, I did not shed a tear. There seem to be no more tears left in my eyes or heart. I just felt a dull numbing pain in my heart.

It all started on Sept 24th 2005. The first time he got tipsy on alcohol and turned all read, the first movie we watched together, the first time he held my hand (he said he would never ever let go again). It was the first time I felt dizzy with happiness. Now it’s all ended on the very same day, three years later. Sept 25th 2008. Ironically it will be the last time we fight, the last time we hold hands and the last time we kiss. Somehow I knew it was coming..I had hoped “my love would get you home” but my heart broke again as the words “I have no more feelings for you” left his lips. How did that happen? How do you lose all feelings for a person after 3 years of being together? Is there not even a small piece of your heart that still belongs to me?

It was not until later and with a lot of grilling when I finally found out where his feelings have gone to. Apparently he found someone else..a junior he chatted with online while I was on a 2 week trip with my parents in UK. Their friendship developed and they started to have feelings for each other and he started to lose his feelings for me. Ironically that was about the time when I lost my feelings for him for awhile too but I never told him anything (I did not want to give up on him just like that..I didn’t want to hurt him). In the end, I’m the one who got hurt. I started falling for him again when he started falling for someone else. He had been lying about his feelings for me for the past 2 months!! I felts stupid, hurt and betrayed. I was furious to the point that I did not know how to face him again. I deleted all his messages, his picture and his contact from my phone. I wanted to delete him out of my life, my memory. I wanted to cry but I was hurt beyond tears.

I used to imagine him coming home to me, to a nice home where I would have a home-cooked meal ready for him. I used to dream of being the mother of his children and being his best friend for the rest of his life. Reality has slapped me in the face. Now his heart belongs to someone else. I do wonder if he would ever come back to me. Part of me says it’s the end..move on while part of me says there is more to this story. But for now, looks like my love did not get you home.

I will not cry, I will not break,
I will not curse, I will not hate,
I’ll stay strong and try to forget the pain
For in hurt, there is simply nothing to gain.

Girl in the Mirror

2008-09-08T23:21:00.000-07:00

A moment ago, a friend of mine told me that he didn't like the way he is living his life now. That made me think about my own life. Did I like the way I was living right now? I look in the mirror and I see this girl..an image everyone else sees. My parents see a daughter who graduated with a good degree and will have a good future. My sister sees a friend and role model. My brother sees comforting arms but what do I see in me?

I see an unemployed graduate who does not even know how to get all her forms filled in right. I see a bored goofball who spends her days talking to the dog. I see a careless driver who crashed the car only after a month of driving. I see a lonely girl with nothing to offer the world. So, NO..I'm not happy with the way I am living life right now either.

I look in the mirror everyday and I see this reflection...the person I wish I could be instead of who i really am. Will I ever be who I want to be? Will I ever be who they see? Will I ever be the girl in the mirror...a reflection of perfection?

My love will get you home..

2008-09-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

If you wander off too far my love will get you home, If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home, If you ever find yourself lost and all alone, Get back on your feet and think of me, My love will get you home, boy, My love will get you home.

A song that really touched my heart. Even after the thousands of times I heard it throughout the whole series entitled "Heart of greed". Starring Moses Chan (as Tong Chi On), Raymond Lam (Alfred), Linda Chung (Tseung Choy Sum) and many more, this heart-warming series revolves around the members of a warm and happy family whose lives are turned upside down by the "evil" second wife. However, this song relates more to the secondary plat involving On, Alfred and TCS.

Alfred and TCS were schoolmates who had crushes on each other but did not get together until they meet again a few years later. The series follows their rocky relationship and their petty arguements. Holding hands and walking together in the rain, Alfred carryig TCS on his back when her feet hurt, sending flowers to her, cooking for him. Everytime they were together, this song would play in the background.

Watching this show reminded me of the wonderful times I had with him, how we would shop for groceries together and go back to my apartment to cook. We would take walks in the park together hand in hand. We would watch movies together in my room till we fell asleep. Last year, not long after I left for UK, he sent this song to me. It was sweet that he said his love would get me home but I did not really understand and appreciate it then.

Alfred cheated on TCS with her best friend later in the series. Hurt, she vowed never to forgive him and never to be together with him again. Two years later, he helps her with a case and they become friends again but they never brought ip the past. Despite how much they wanted to tell each other that they still loved each other, their feelings were only expressed in their individual diaries. On the day TCS decides to tell Alfred that she has forgiven him and that she still loves him, Alfred is involved in a road accident and dies without reading her email. I cried like a baby when Alfred died. I suddenly felt that love is so fragile. Without proper care, it can fall out of your grasp in the blink of an eye. Watching Alfred and TCS miss their chance at happiness like that really saddens me. What if I've missed my chance already.

We seldom chat these days. I guess he's busy. Lately when we chat, he seems colder, more distant. It hurts...I know that I was the one who asked for it. I was the one who just wanted to be friends. I know we still can't be together at this moment because of our situation but it still hurts. It's not his fault..I guess I'm just overly sensitive but somehow the thought of him treating me any less than his piggy is really heart breaking..

I know that I am not the only one suffering from a heartache. It is tragic to love someone who does not love you or not to be able to be with the one you love.so those of you who already have love in your grasps, don't let it go..cherish it with all your heart because you never know when you may lose it. I pray that true love really does exist and that everyone finds theirs in the end.

Crash Boom Bang!

2008-09-05T21:27:00.000-07:00

Just one month into driving and I decide to kill my sister's car. Here's how the story went...according to police reports.

Pada 4/9/2008 lebih kurang jam 8.30 pagi, saya memandu m/kar no. PHV 7138 jenis P/Viva dari pusat bandar ke Gelugor melalui Cangkat Minden Jalan Satu. Semasa di persimpangan Cangkat Minden Jalan Satu/Lorong Tujuh, saya bersedia untuk belok ke kiri....(oh crap..my malay is bad. I better continue in English)

Anyway, what happened was...

Tiny Viva turning in + Humungous Lorry turning out + small road =

Stuffed!

2008-08-13T12:01:00.000-07:00

Here I am at 3am in the morning, a bit grumpy and unable to sleep. My nose is blocked again! I swear I think I'm allergic to air. Everytime I try to breathe in it gets blocked and not just one nostril, it's both! It's not a nice feeling when you have to breathe through your mouth every so often and sneeze 4-5 times in a row. It'll make you really really tired and grumpy, hence my current state. I don't know what is wrong with me..

It's not the aircon as I get it during the day as well when it's about 100 degrees out and all I have is a ceiling fan.

It's not the dog cos he gets thrown out every night (my poor baby..)

It most certainly isn't because of lying down because I get it even when I am sitting down or standing up.

I most certainly am not having a cold either.

I have no known allergies, no cats in the house, I take Clarinase 24 everyday (it used to work but I think my booger is now immune to it). OMG I am just the world's largest producer of nasal fluid..Arghh. Damn you NOSE!

4 Days in paradise

2008-08-06T10:20:00.000-07:00

Day 1: Curry mee for breakfast plus a wee bit of "kai si hor fun" stolen from Hong's plate..hehehe. Then it was off to genting. Don't really know why Hong wanted to take me there but it really didn't matter to me. We drove up the hill and halfway up we realised that the car was out of gas. We stopped at Genting sempah but they did not have a petrol station so we decided to brave our way to the top. Thankfully we made it up there. We walked all around genting and Hong kept wanting to feed me junk!! I swear he is plotting to make me fat. We savoured ridiculously expensive doriyaki pancakes followed by Baskin Robin's. Then it was back to KL. On the way back both of us were so sleepy. I fell asleep in the car and the next thing I know, we were parked at the side of the highway and Hong was asleep next to me!! Oh well..better than falling asleep at the wheel I guess. That night I ate at Fatty Crab in Taman Megah with my cousin. The crab was not to bad I guess..We had a steamed crab and a sweet and sour, spicy crab..but the chicken wings were amazing! I am guessing they were seasoned with five spice....fantastic flavour! I was soo full I could explode.

Day 2: I was craving for dim sum so Hong took me to Chuan Heng restaurant with his mom. OMG..that was the most expensive dim sum I remembered eating! Four silliy little pieces of siu mai costs RM6.80!! They were all served on white square platters..almost like fine dining and the waiter fills your tea cup every few seconds. The bill for 3 came up to RM109! After that expensive breakfast, we headed on to Kepong. Our initial plan was to drop by cineleisure, get the tickets for an evening movie and then head on to One-U to shop around before we finally go to Ikea and get hotdogs for dinner. However, somewhere in the process of getting there, Hong decided to go to One-U. He wanted to watch the movie at GSC because he liked their popcorn! Naturally I thought he thought it through so I did not object. It was not until later when I realised that we had to park at one-U then park at Ikea then come back to one-U again!!! If we had followed the initial plan, he could wait in the car while I got the tickets at cineleisure and then we'd only have to park at One-U then at Ikea and walk over to cineleisure. I was furious when I realised my stupid mistake. I should have objected! I should have know better that his ideas are seldom thought through and usually initial plans are more well thought out! Never never change the plan until you have considered all angles! ARGH!! I was mad..I was fuming and he was apologising..but before I could stomp off he pulls me close and kisses my forehead, the whispers in my ear that he is sorry and kisses my cheek again. It's so hard to stay angry when he does that.

The movie we watched was "The Mummy 3" starring Brendan Fraser, Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh. It was certainly not as fantastic as the previous 2 episodes but we really did have fun with a popcorn in one hand, ikea currypuffs in another, a LARGE ice lemon tea in the cup holder and him beside me..just the way I like it. The night ended with a yum cha session with his friends and a plan to go to Redang next year.

Day 3: The Pavilion..a whole new stomping ground for the rich in Bukit Bintang. Designer shops and not to mention designer bread! One of the most prominent bakery there is probably the Loaf, situated beside the front entrance. Owned by the former prime minister himself Tun Dr. Mahatir, this bakery features world class pastries, breads and cakes by renowned Japanese Grand Chef Yukichi Matsubara and my dear friend and aspiring chef, Woo Mun Hong. It was a relaxing day as we strolled around the pavillion and then had lunch with my youngest aunt at Imbi Palace. After lunch we were dropped off at Times Square and hung out there for abit. Then we watched the movie 21 which was excellent by the way. I highly recommend that movie to anyone who enjoys intellectual films. Later on, we headed on to Mid Valley for a teppanyaki dinner. Then it was back to KL for another Yam Cha session with his friends. During that time, all the boys spontaneously agreed to a one day trip to penang just to fetch me home....aww...friends..(actually they were only in it for the good food in penang but i'd like to think I was part of the deal too;p)

Day 4: The alarm buzzed at 4am in the morning...5 more minutes I begged. The snooze woke me up almost every 5 minutes. I grudgingly got up at 5.05am, took a shower and headed out. We rounded up the gang by 6.30am and headed towards Ipoh. Little did we know that the road from Sey Hong's house takes us to Rawang via the old road!! We spent an hour or so getting out of there and then finally got out to the toll. We reached Ipoh around 10am and decided to have breakfast there. Round and round we drove till we saw a junction where all four corners had coffee shops. Satisfied we stopped and realised we had to pay the parking by buying tickets and displaying it. Stupidly enough the tickets came in a book of 10 which costs RM3. Does not matter if you only wanted one, you have to buy the whole bloody book! Hellooo!! People...it's the 21st century..uselah the meters autopay machines!! Waste my RM3..well technically it's Hong's money but his money is my money...lol. After a very filling breakfast for me, we headed down to Penang. We sat the ferry across and headed on to the famous Penang road Laksa. The guys enjoyed a bowl of laksa each and cendol. Then it was back to my house where they rested abit before we headed out to Queensbay. Sadly the guys were way too tired to enjoy anything especially Hong...(the poor baby hardly got any sleep and had to drive the 300km from KL to Penang) It's impossible not to love this boy...he's such an amazing friend. My day ended after I pointed them to the direction of Gurney. Though I would be seeing them again he next day, I missed them as soon as they left. It was a great 4 days in paradise.

Homecoming

2008-08-05T01:26:00.000-07:00

My heart was racing in Singapore at the thought of seeing him for the first time in one year, one month and 25 days. How should I greet him? Hug him, kiss him or shake his hand? So many scenarios played out in my mind making the flight from singapore to penang the shortest flight I have ever taken.

I took a deep breath as I pushed my trolley through the gates. A sea of happy faces greeted us. Some relatives were waving franticly and some stood with their arms open for embrace. I caught a glimpse of him through the crowd and quickly wheeled my luggage in his direction. He smiled but there was an awkward moment as we greeted each other..no hugs, no kiss, no flowers..not even a handshake..just a hi! I watched as Selene jump into her father's arms and her happy face when she saw her group of friends who came to greet her. I could not help but feel a bit out of place.

After all the formalities, we said bye to the crowd and made our way to the car park. Still no hug..hmm. We loaded the luggage into the car and then I wheeled the trolley to the trolley bay and made my way back to the car. As I reached, he swept me up in a great big hug, so tight I could hardly breathe. "He still loves me," I thought to myself.

As we drove to into town, the chatter felt a bit awkward. He admitted that he sees the change in me and that greeting me just now was like greeting a stranger. I felt the same. It was so far from what I expected. However, upon reaching Bukit Bintang, familiarity swept over me and I was so happy to be home. Our first stop was the mamak outside his house. Maggie mee goreng..and teh oh ais limau satu! hehehe..

After dinner, he told me to guess what present he got for me 2 days ago. He said it was edible and I would totally love it. I racked my brain for an answer. Now what do I love to eat that can be kept for at least two days. See I don't like biscuits or those preservative filled snacks, I'm fed up of chocolate and its just ridiculous if he got me any canned food! It must be a bottle of wine ir something to celebrate my homecoming.."yeah that must be it", I told myself. Then, he dropped a bright green expensive looking bag in my lap. My jaw dropped when I saw the contents. It was the latest ipod nano! WHICH PART OF IT CAN BE EATEN!!!

I really did not know what to say. I almost fainted..it was beautiful..I loved it so much but I just could not accept it. It was worth a month of his salary! I told him to return it and get the money back as I didn't need it but he would hear nothing of it. His one line blew me away.
"Sometimes somethings may seem unfair to you, but I'll try my best to make it fair to you."

SHOP SHOP SHOP!!!

2008-07-27T09:09:00.000-07:00

After a whole year of skimping, Joyce has finally lost it! I have gone insane and I am shopping like crazy!! 3 jackets, 5 bikinis, 5 bras, 2 bottoms and countless countless tops! OMG..what happened to me?
The normal guilt of spending money is gone! I am now officially a shopaholic! I spent like 50 pounds today...RM350!

Oh well, it's only 3 days more..how much damage can I do in 3 days right? Technically 2 and a half..hehehe. So heck it. I'm gonna be happy and enjoy spreading the green while I still can ;).

Ok bimbo time is over. Ciao!

Life of a Pharmacy Graduate..

2008-06-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

Wake up-Eat-Shit-Watch TV-Eat while watching TV-Stone with "housies"-Nap-Eat again-Shower-Sleep.

Behold the life of a pharmacy graduate awaiting convocation. I swear, it wasn't always like that. Here's recapping the past month.

THE EXAMS
Wake up-Coffee-Study-Eat-Study-Coffee-Study-Study-Coffee-Eat-Study-Sleep
This was life during the exam weeks in May. Day in, day out, our tiny little noses were buried deep in stacks of books, notes and journals. Our hair messy, laundry pilling high, food supply running low. We were like chipmunks in hibernation except instead of sleeping, we study. Time was not our friend. The hands of a clock ticked away like a mad man on the loose...emphasizing how much we had to cover and how little time we had. Argh!! Frustration...Irritation..Panic..Fear.. These are some of the most commonly felt emotions during this time of darkness.

THE LAST DAY
Finally, the blood, sweat and tears came to an end. The day for the final paper finally came. Freedom was at our fingertips. We could smell it, taste it, it was so close. We just had to hurdle past ADD(Advance Drug Discovery) If we could survive this paper, we would be free!!! I stepped into the exam hall scared but confident that I could do well, I would do well! As I flipped the question paper, panic began to show on my face. Shit!! Nevertheless my hands moved like clockwork, pouring all the knowledge stored in my brain, or what was left of it. "Time's UP! Put your pens down!", I heard the invigilator cry out. Slowly I lowered my only weapon..my pen. The battle was over. I looked up and scanned the room. Worried faces met my gaze and I knew I was not alone. I slowly made my way to my house mates and together, we walked out of the examination hall. I watched as some jumped for joy at the end of this hurdle while others made their way home with sad faces. Somehow I felt no emotion-I wasn't relieved or unhappy. I was simply numb. I just felt that it wasn't really over yet till the scroll is in my hands.

THE TRIP
As soon as our exams ended, we flew our little butts to Ireland for a treat. It was like the home of the friendlies! We were greeted by the beautiful city of Belfast and the gourmet cuisine of the weekend continental market. We stuffed our faces with weird meat like wild hog, venison, and zebra, sampling foods from France, Spain, Germany and many more. The next day was even more wonderful as we take in the sights of the Giant's Causeway and the carrick-a-rede rope bridge. The beauty of Ireland was also evident in Dublin as we cruised along the bays of Dun Laoghaire (into the Wickalow mountains. As usual, our trip was filled with playful banter and alot of "Diana-bashing" just because we love her and she is sooo easy to tease..hehe. We also found a new sister to join our "crazy club"-Khai. All in all, it was a really memorable trip.

VIVA LIST
When we returned from our short break, we were faced with another nerve-wrecking day-the release of the VIVA list. Fortunately for our house, all of us were not selected. This was when it started..the lazy cycle.

Wake up-Eat-Shit-Watch TV-Eat while watching TV-Stone with "housies"-Nap-Eat again-Shower-Sleep. This was life for the next 3 or 4 days..then..

THE RESULTS
At exactly 4.42pm on the 4th of JUNE, the degree classification was released. There were some screams of joy, some tears of horror and some emotionally retarded people who cry even after obtaining a respectable Merit. It was a day of liberty! The days which ensued are a blur. There was a barbecue somewhere in the midst. Then there was the arrival of the two most popular Bpharmers and an "interesting" friend of Hui Mei's, then another barbecue but this time I was paying more attention to one of our guests than the food;). Then I remember packing for the big MOVE.

THE MOVE
It was like a massacre. Bags and boxes everywhere! Silly people, though I am not sure who was responsible, expected us to move out of JBC by 10am and we were not to receive our keys to the new apartments in Birckbeck Court till 2pm! Crazy, isn't it? So we were homeless for 4 hours. But we survived! Here are the injuries I sustained during the move...

THESE DAYS
It's Wake up-Eat-Shit-Watch TV-Eat while watching TV-Stone with "housies"-Nap-Eat again-Shower-Sleep.

Unavailability is HOT

2008-06-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

There we were, just innocently eating dinner and all of a sudden, Jamie Oliver came on TV. "He's so hot!", a unanimous cry erupted. Then someone pointed out that he was married. So I said it is too bad he is not only married but he is HAPPILY married. Everyone stared at me as if I had said something beyond imagination. I tried to explain my logic which was if he were happily married none of us have a chance with him. Still...that "she's crazy" stares. Then my housies declared that it is his unavailability that makes him more attractive. I pondered on that statement..

I guess it is kind of true that most gals seem to have a fetish for unavailable guys. I mean think of the countless cases for people cheating on their spouses, their GFs and their BFs. Also when you fall for someone who is already in a relationship or is emotionally unavailable. I know I myself fell for someone my parents disapproved of.

Are we really masochists or are we just plain stupid? Why fall for someone you can't have? Why put yourself through all the pain and misery. Is someone really more appealing if they belong to someone else?

I can't explain this phenomenon for every girl but I did experience something like that. I wanted someone who was never really mine. We dodged each other for years. I always wanted him when he was unavailable and every time he wanted me I was in a relationship. Every time I was free he would say he did not want to get into a relationship. It is weird. I guess we are only attractive to each other when we are unattainable to each other. It's like one line in the song "sometimes love's just ain't enough"- I don't wanna lose you but I don't wanna keep you (If that even makes sense). I think I want him to love me just because I am a selfish bitch. I want him to want me because it feels good to be wanted and I like the attention.

I should stop wanting the things I cannot have and appreciate the things I DO have. It's healthier that way...sigh..If only we could have all we want, when we want.

Doubts...

2008-04-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

Does he really love me? Does he want me so because he really loves me and needs me or just because he misses having someone by his side. Will he still want me once I am back in his arms..once I have become accessible again. He has left me before, will he do it again? These questions have been ringing in my head. My relationship with him has been on the rocks since he started going back to church slightly before our one year anniversary. We broke up, got together and broke up again. Finally, before the second year I left for Scotland. I thought I could forget him...let him go. I even explored other options and convinced myself to diminish all hope of being with him again. Then a miracle happened on the first day of CNY.

I received a message with the words "miss you and love you". I was beyond surprised but happy nonetheless. All his words and action since then have been of love and adoration. I thought maybe he changed his mind about "us"...maybe there is hope. I was happy until today when a sudden wave of doubt knocked me over.

What if he only feels this way because he can't have me now? When I return, will I become a bore then? Sigh..how can I know how he truly feels? Girlfrens, if you sistas have any tips, stories or advice, please share.

SOY SOY SOY and more SOY

2008-03-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

Not too many days ago, I had this immense crazing for “tau fu fah”. I stared at the packet of instant tau fu fah mix at Chung Ying. It costs £1.68 for that 80g packet. Certainly I was not willing to pay RM10 for a bowl of tau fu fah! But the craving was strong. I paced Chung Ying like a nut case, walking back and forth from the tau fu fah aisle to the noodle aisle. Finally I managed to control my insanity and walked out of Chun Ying without it.

When I got home I thought and thought of how to get what I wanted without having to fork out even more money. Finally I remembered the huge bag of soy beans I bought a month ago. Since tau fu fah is technically a soy product I thought I’d try to make it from soy bean milk. So there I went “perah-ing” the soy bean milk. My by-products, the husks were set aside. Now my problem was coagulating the milk to make it into tau fu fah. Now how the heck do I do that? My ingenious mind led me to the cupboard where Daphne kept her mango jelly. Hehehe..a few tablespoon of that would do. I added it to my soy milk and patted my sneaky self on the back. Then I left it to cool in the fridge.

Now that that was done, I was still bored. Idle minds are certainly a devil’s workshop. In my case, the devil is the soy bean man/lady..whatever. Anyway, thinking back on my rock hard cookies the first time I used the husks to make something, I decided to go a different way and make soy bread. I found a recipe from videojug for rye bread and replaced the rye flour with soy husks. This is what it turned out to be like.

Looks good eh? Passable as bread but…

Lo and Behold..the truth! I broke the bread L :(

After the bread, I still had so much of the husk left so, I decided to make banana bran muffins and replace the bran with my soy husk. Don’t they just look pretty? They tasted pretty good. Only problem was, they were not fluffy. I guess the soy husks must have increased the SG so it could not rise that well. Oh well, My housies are my victims anyway and they haven’t complained.

Third batch of Muffins and I finally get the colour right.

The inside of my mushroom looking muffin

The soy muffin upclose and personal!

Cherio till my next inspiration strikes!

LiFe is LiFe..it can't be fair.

2008-03-13T01:00:00.000-07:00

There she goes again, getting whatever she wants with a snap of her fingers. It irritates me to bits watching her sashay across the halls like she owns the world. Well, maybe she really does. She's got it all. She's one of those tall skinny bitches who are popular, fashionable, attractive, some might even call her beautiful. With all that "looks" going for her, God should have made her dumb or poor, but NO!! He had to make her rich and the top in her class as well. Sometimes I wonder if she stole all my luck in the world to leave me in this pathetic state that I am.

Only 5 feet tall and a tad bit overweight with no outstanding features or achievements, I stared myself in the mirror, drowning myself in self pity and misery. Why oh why am I not lucky? Why couldn't I be the one who was born tall and beautiful or smart and eloquent? Why was I born the way I am, a stupid ball of fats with no sense of fashion whatsoever? WHY, WHY, WHY? "God is so unfair!", I ranted on all morning.

Feeling like the crap that I am, I indulged in chocolates and sought a companion in one of my inmates (figuratively speaking). We chatted about sibling rivalry, how our younger siblings seem to surpass us, people who seem to have it all and the bottom line, why is life so unfair. Chatting helped a little as we tried to convince ourselves that nobody's life is perfect, that behind that surface of perfection, there is always a not so beautiful story.

I pondered on that for while and something hit me. Luck it seems is not substantial and can't be gauged by outsiders. It's more of self-perception. You could have everything in the world and still feel unlucky if you are not thankful for it. On a contrary, you can have all the shit in the world thrown at you and still feel like the luckiest gal in the world just simply because you are alive. So I sat myself down to think about what I am grateful for, to dig out some good from all the shit that I see in front of me.

Certainly I am not gonna be cliche and settle for being grateful that I am alive. So, I thought harder..I remember the times where I would argue with Jud over the smallest things, the times Jea and I spent crying over our broken hearts on the bathroom floor and the bubble tea nights with the whole gang. I remember sneaking in the boys' dorm through the window, the nights I spent chatting with Lynda till she fell asleep. I miss the movie nights with Paul, Will and Eliza, the "poke wars" we had, the sex 101 lessons and the "family" dinners we used to have. I miss my furry baby bro and the way he would look at me with his big brown eyes, my not so baby bro and his endless talks of pokemon, demons, games (as you can probably tell, I never really listened), my sis and her highschool mishaps, and my mom and dad with their childish, almost comedic banters. Sigh.. I also miss his touch, his hand in mine, the sound of his voice when I am sad, the look in his eyes that tells me I am his world. I miss our movie nights, never-ending tours to Ikea, walks in the park and silly little fights. I miss all the tears, the drama, the laughter....I just miss living!

I chuckled to myself as I recall all the good times I have had. Despite how much I complain and seem to hate gloomy, depressing Glasgow, I am gonna miss it. I'll miss the new friends I made, my crazy housies and our liberal eating scheme. I will miss the live sitcom starring us in the kitchen, the girl-talk till dawn, the little parties and most of all, the family that I have come to know and love during my stay. Yeah sometimes life deals you shit, but beneath all that crap, there will be some good times. I think being able to remember and appreciate those good times is the greatest piece of luck anyone can have. So to hell with all those skinny bitches...they don't have what I have...MY LIFE.

Bangs R Me!!

2008-03-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

"Everyone meet normal Joyce, with normal fringe and a normal level of sanity"

"This is Joyce with her crazy look...determined to kill boredom by butchering her hair."

"Hmm..still needs a wee bit of work..hehe..crooked"

"Cut, cut, cut, snip snip snip"

"End result..not too bad kua..the mirror didn't break at least"

Was it the stress of final year, the 5am morning call we got from the fire alarm this morning(which by the way I might bitch about later if I have the mood) or is it just crazy ol' me? I don't know but guess what I did people? Something in me clicked and I just whipped out a pair of scissors and decided to butcher my hair! Wathching America's next top model make overs just inspired me to change my look. Of course being the chicken and miser that I am I would never dare or be willing to pay for it thus I would have never gotten around to it but this morning, a wave of insanity hit me. I stared myself in the mirror and decided I needed a change. Losing weight is not an option because that takes way too long. Getting prettier is so not gonna happen because who gets any prettier without surgery or getting the pregnant "glow" and make up is so cliche? The next in line was changing the hair (and to my practical side's horror, the scissors was in close range!).

I swear it started out with shortening the fringe. After a few snips, I was still not satidfied. Ok, so a dozen or so more...lo and behold, it's too short now for my usual look. So what do I do? I cut somemore. Some would call it genius, some would call it art, most just call it crazy but hey, whatever works for me. The end result was quite satisfying. It is a new look for me as I have always said NO with a capital N and O to bangs. Gods knows what hit me today but I think it works. Here are some pics of my stupidity of the day. Let me know of what you think of my new look.

Fire Alarmzzzzzzzzzz!!!

2008-03-05T08:44:00.000-08:00

It was about 0600 hours, 5th March 2008. An incessant ringing woke me up from my slumber. My eyes cracked open lazily and reluctantly towards the clock at the side of my bed. Its cheeky face smiled back at me, 5.45 it showed!!! I groaned. It was another fire alarm in JBC, meaning it's most likely a false alarm. I was willing to play along with the silly "accidents" we regularly had but at 6am? Now that's just plain mean!I swore, whoever did it is going on my blacklist.

I stumbled out of bed to find my sweater, my jacket and my shoes, still groggy and all the time thinking damn those Ang Mos! I opened the door to find two less than happy faces going bout the same motions as me. We trudged to the door together..oh wait..I forgot to put on pants so back I go again. After locating my jeans, i rushed to the door again..oh no..my phone! So back to my room again to retrieve the one thing I could not live with if there was a real fire. Come to think of it, if there was a real fire I probably would not survive at the rate I am going. But anyway, I finally managed to get all I needed to brave the Glasgow wind at 6 in the morning while the firemen surveyed the situation.

Out in the cold, over a hundred of us stood shivering, as we waited for the big men in uniforms to reveal the culprit. Finally after 15 minutes, the men shouted out the unit number that triggered the alarm. All faces turned to see who was our dear morning caller. The culprit was one of us..sigh..Laughing it off, we all returned to our rooms hoping that we coud return to our slumber.

Snowwwy Day

2008-03-04T07:36:00.000-08:00

Look out the window! It's snowing in Glasgow. Ok..I know my post is late but I'm new at this so bear with me! Niway, yesterday was one of the rarest days you get in Glasgow. So far in the 3 months of winter, I think I have only seen snow three times! MOst of the time the snow melts as it hits the ground so we never get a snow blanket. Yesterday, it snowed like there was no tomorrow. There was some semblance of a snow blanket..well I would not say blanket but there was snow on the ground. Hehe..I watched as the overly excited people slid down the slope in attempts to tobogan(something people do in canada where the know is one foot deep). It's funny how those little specks if shaved ice can lift everyone's spirits and make people like me do stupid things like going out without a jacket to take pictures. Here are some indoor pics where I stuck my head out of Dap's window. My outdoor pics are still being held hostage by my dear cam whore..the one and only Diana Banana.

In Da DaRk!

2008-03-03T13:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, it's about time I bitched about my final year research project. It's chaos and disaster in my world as noone seems to know what we are supposed to do!. First she said "Wait till your results are our then I'll tell you what to do". Now that the results are out, she says "I don't really know what you should do but figure it out yourself". Now of course she did not say those things directly but that was the impression I got. I'll bet my other comrades are just as blur as me! We are lost..in the dark..there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. The worst part is not that we don't know what she wants but it's that SHE does not know what she wants. Looks like I'm doomed.
It's March already, CPP esays are due this week, Pharmcare essays are due in 2 weeks, the research project 2 weeks after that, then it's a race to the FINALS!! Honestly, I don't know where all my time has gone. Whatever happened to all that initial effort of staying ahead? Now I feel like instead of being ahead, I'm behind! Help someone..anyone!!!

New Blogger

2008-03-02T17:54:00.000-08:00

There! I've done it. I've created a blog..finally. Months of living with blog stalkers who have brainwashed me with the idea of showing myself to the world have finally done it. I reached a breaking point and just could not take the pestering anymore. Mind you, it was not them who pestered but mostly the inner cat in me. I guess I had to see for myself what the big deal is with blogging..EVERYONE IS DOING IT!
Well, for now, typing my thoughts down seem to feel like talking to myself. It's freaky how fluently my fingers are moving across the keyboard. It feels like second nature and I just started! I guess it happens to everyone the first time they do anything. I know for sure I would be very enthusiastic the first few days, maybe even the first few months. However, things like friendster, multiply and facebook always seem to lose their appeal to me after awhile. I'm a lazy pig who does not like to hold the camera to take pictures though I LOVE to be in them. I detest my snail of a computer which lags to the max especially when I am using firefox. Sigh..eventually I get to lazy to update anything and all this will fall into disuse.
Oh well, I guess that's just the way life goes for me. I know I'm a little freak and maybe it's time this freak is exposed to the world. Hmm..I'll try harder this time I guess. Hopefully my audience are forgiving if I am not a "model" blogger.
Toodalloos for now. More to come later because I am really bored today!